From Trauma to Triumph: How Fearless Living Empowers Change
Fear. We all feel it, even if we don’t name it. For leaders, fear can hide behind perfectionism, procrastination, people-pleasing, and a constant drive to prove worth. But what happens when fear runs the show? And more importantly—how do we take back control?
The truth is, fear doesn’t just go away. It disguises itself as overachievement, avoidance, or even humility. For those leading teams, launching businesses, or navigating high-pressure careers, learning to master fear isn’t optional—it’s essential.
In this blog, we explore the journey of mastering fear in leadership, and how courage, self-awareness, and daily habits can transform fear from a roadblock into a guide for growth.
A Life Changed by a Single Moment
Rhonda Britten’s story begins with unimaginable trauma. At age 14, she witnessed her father murder her mother and then take his own life. The experience shattered her sense of safety and self-worth.
What followed was a spiral of pain—alcoholism, DUIs, and three suicide attempts. But after her third attempt failed, Rhonda had a moment of clarity: “If I can’t even kill myself right, maybe I’m supposed to live.”
That realization became her turning point.
Gold Stars and the Power of Tiny Wins
Starting over didn’t begin with grand gestures. It started with gold stars.
Literally.
Rhonda bought a calendar and gave herself a gold star every day she made a healthy choice—no matter how small. “I got mad and didn’t break anything. That got a star,” she recalled.
After 30 days, her calendar was filled. For the first time in years, she felt proud of herself. It wasn’t just about accomplishment. It was proof that she could change.
That gold star calendar wasn’t just healing—it became a foundation for her future coaching work. It revealed a universal truth: small wins create momentum.
The Hidden Ways Fear Shows Up
One of the biggest barriers to growth is that most people don’t even realize they’re afraid.
“I never said ‘I’m scared,’” Rhonda admitted. “Those words weren’t in my vocabulary. I thought I didn’t have fear.”
But fear is tricky. It doesn’t always look like panic or avoidance. Instead, it shows up as:
Comparing yourself to others
Overcommitting and people-pleasing
Judging others (or yourself)
Procrastinating, doubting, or deflecting
These are what Rhonda calls “fear responses”—behaviors that point to a deeper emotional threat.
In leadership, these behaviors might look like micromanaging, avoiding tough conversations, or staying small when it's time to lead boldly.
The Wheel of Fear vs. The Wheel of Freedom
To help people shift out of these patterns, Rhonda developed a tool called the Wheel of Fear.
At the center is a core fear—a belief about yourself you’re trying to avoid. For some, it’s “I’m not enough.” For others, “I’m not lovable” or “I don’t matter.”
Around that fear are the behaviors you use to avoid it. These are your fear responses: overworking, controlling, hiding, or perfectionism.
The antidote? The Wheel of Freedom. This is where you operate from your essential self—the part of you that’s bold, joyful, and authentic. It’s not about “faking it till you make it.” It’s about acting from truth, not fear.
Creating New Habits: The Power of Decision
A turning point came when Rhonda bet a friend she wasn’t an alcoholic. To prove it, she decided to limit herself to one drink per day. That decision led to a powerful realization—her entire day revolved around when she would have that drink.
She wasn’t physically addicted. She was emotionally tethered.
That awareness led her to quit alcohol completely. And this time, she didn’t go back and forth. “I made a decision about who I wanted to be,” she said. “And I stuck to it.”
Leadership demands the same clarity. At some point, you stop dipping your toe in. You decide who you are—and act like it.
Facing Fear with Gratitude
Rhonda teaches that gratitude is a proactive behavior—one that can pull us back into alignment.
Gratitude quiets fear because it brings us into the present moment. It reminds us of what’s working, what we’ve overcome, and what’s possible.
For leaders, practicing gratitude isn’t just about being positive. It’s about staying grounded during challenges, seeing growth in mistakes, and acknowledging progress instead of perfection.
What’s Really Holding You Back?
Most people think their struggles are personal flaws. But fear-based behaviors are not personality traits—they’re patterns. And once you see them, you can change them.
Rhonda’s approach helps people:
Identify their fear pattern
Understand what it’s protecting them from
Create intentional habits to build confidence
Reconnect with their “essential self”
That shift changes everything—from how you handle feedback to how you take risks.
Why Most People Don’t Change—and How to Be the Exception
Change is hard, not because people lack willpower, but because they fear losing connection.
“When you start growing,” Rhonda explained, “some people won’t like it. You’ll speak up more. You’ll take risks. You’ll stop people-pleasing.”
That growth can shake up relationships.
But here’s the truth: staying stuck to please others won’t bring peace. Growth requires courage—and boundaries.
The good news? You don’t have to do it all at once. Like Rhonda’s gold stars, it starts with one brave moment, then another.
Leading with Courage, Not Control
Mastering fear in leadership doesn’t mean you never feel afraid. It means you know what to do when fear shows up.
You pause. You name it. You take one empowered step forward anyway.
Whether you're speaking on stage, launching a new initiative, or having a hard conversation, the path to fearless leadership begins with a choice: show up with truth, or hide behind fear.
And when you choose truth, freedom follows.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Broken. It’s Just Fear.
At the heart of Rhonda’s message is one simple truth: There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just fear.
That’s the mantra she wants people to remember. Because when you stop beating yourself up and start seeing fear for what it is—a signal, not a flaw—you take your power back.
You stop reacting. You start leading.
You stop doubting. You start deciding.
And most importantly, you begin to trust yourself again.
